NOVEMBER 21, 2019.
The entry about peace and positivity from yesterday seems light years away from today. It has in fact, been one of the roughest days I’ve spent in quite a while.
Yeah, it’s evening again, and I’m just now sitting down to journal.
Honestly, I just want to go into my bedroom, take off my clothes, put on my PJS and get into the bed and cry. Come to think of it I may do just that.
I don’t know what’s going on with my dog. I feel like we’ve slid so far back into some kind of other world that we may never find our way out.
He has scavenged every chance he’s had; he’s disobeyed every chance he’s had and ignored everything I’ve said to him.
It’s more than just disobedience. When we went for walks today he wanted to drag me off onto side streets that he’s never so much as given a second glance, he’s tried to go into the neighbor’s yard, dragging me along for the ride, and he’s totally been off his normal routine.
He started our day at 5:05 A.M. this morning demanding to go outside. He’s normally not even awake at that time of morning, but honestly, I don’t think he ever went to sleep for more than just a few minutes at a time last night. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom I found him laying on the loveseat wide awake.
I don’t know what on earth is wrong, but we’ve got a vet appointment on Monday and I intend to have some blood work and a urine test done.
If this is aging and nothing more then we’ve got one hell of a rough road ahead of us. I’d just like to say that a little heads up on some of the things one could expect from a senior guide would’ve been nice during training.
I know every experience is different, every dog is different but as I’ve been going through this in talking to other handlers who have had senior dogs the one constant I’ve found has been the shock they felt when they realized they could no longer trust their dog even in their own yard on leash, or in harness.
I feel like I’ve been dropped onto another planet without even so much as a description of what I should do or where I should go.
He got so out of hand a while ago, frantically trying to lick every inch of the kitchen floor as I was cleaning up from supper that I finally simply commanded him to “Go To Your Room!” Thanks be he has stayed there this time. I hated to banish him, but he was going to make himself sick. I spilled some of my supper when I was dishing it up and I needed time to clean the counters and floor before he could safely come back in there.
I hate to say it, but I just want him to stay in there a while. I’ve not been able to take one step without him hard on my heels all day. I was gone a little while yesterday and ever since I got back it’s been like we had an umbilical cord between the two of us.
I’m not trying to be a bitch I just have never, and I do mean never dealt with this kind of thing.
I’m sorry, I’m just so very frustrated tonight. I had to do something with it so I’m blasting it here because I don’t think he can help the way he’s acting, and I don’t want to take it out on him.
I don’t know if his thyroid is off, if he’s got something totally unrelated going on or if and excuse me if this sounds harsh or if he’s just experiencing senior slippage.
I just know that I had to have a break and the best thing I knew to do was to send him to his room where he couldn’t get into anything.
On top of that, this blasted computer is acting up more than ever and getting hold of Computers For the blind has not been doable. It’s no wonder they marked all their remaining computers down to $90. To be quite blunt, while they may have at one time been a decent organization from which to get a used computer from they’re not anymore. My advice, save your flipping money. You’ll do better on Craig’s List. I wish to hell I’d done that now because I’m stuck with this piece of shit and my warranty may as well be tossed into the litter box.
OK. Rant over.
Thanks for reading if you did.