This Is What It Is To Live In True Faith and Birds All a Twitter: #Journal

OCTOBER 12, 2019.

 

“You can’t think about anything passed right now. You can’t think of even what might happen later today. You must focus on what is right here in front of you. You have coffee, creamer, and water and electricity to make this first cup of coffee with and you need not try to look any further along than that.

How do you know you’ll even live through the morning, let alone the rest of the day? You’re not promised anything but what is right here in front of you to do and it is that which you must focus your every part of being on.

Give thanks for that which you have and worry not for that which you don’t.”

That was my thought process as I stood in front of the kitchen counter putting together my first cup of coffee for the day. I had to keep telling myself to focus on one now at a time. Lynn my supervisor at Contact Concern had taught me that. He’d taught me to only focus on what was right in front of me to do and nothing more.

“Even if the next thing in front of you looks the bleakest of anything ever in your life, you mustn’t be frightened of it or even allow yourself to think about it. You must simply do that thing that is right in front of you and then go onto the next when it is there to do.”

I knew, know, he is right but yet as I make my coffee I’m fighting down panic. Panic that tomorrow when I wake up I won’t have a phone or internet. Panic that I’ll be cut off from the rest of the world. Panic that I might become sick or injured and have no way to call for help. Panic that Campbell might become so, and I’ll have no way to find someone to help me with him.

I stood there and allowed myself none of it. I took note of the feel of the firmness of the floor beneath me and spoke out loud, “There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.

There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.

I am she, and she is me. We are one, yet we are we.

I know without a doubt she will take care of me.”

And, just like that I was calm and assured. I knew that some how all would be just fine. I knew that I was going to make it through this day and either I’d make the money to pay this bill before tomorrow, or I’d figure out how to activate this government phone I’d gotten in the mail, but either way I knew that all would be well.

I put the grounds into their little basket, poured in the water, added creamer to my cup, warmed it slightly so it wouldn’t make my coffee cold, sat the cup under the drip and pressed the button.

As the coffeepot came to life I again spoke out loud…

“There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.

There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.

I am she, and she is me. We are one, yet we are we.

She is taking care of me.”

I knew, know it is so and as I sit here drinking this wonderfully hot, strong cup of coffee I know that I am loved, sheltered, and protected.

My refrigerator and cabinets have food in them, I’ve more coffee for another cup when this one is through, the flu sickness I’ve been dealing with now for going on three weeks is starting to go from me more each day, Campbell is there on the loveseat half asleep waiting for me to feed him and take him out. His eye is healing nicely, the weather is to be cooler today and it may rain, and at this moment in time I can think of nothing I need.

I must only get through this moment. One step at a time. Then I can go forward into the next, and the next.

This is what living in true faith is. It is scary, it is breath takingly exciting, it is in some strange way amazing.

I sit here in the knowledge that Mother Father God hold me in the very center of the palm of their hand, and I realize that I no longer feel afraid, but rather I’m in awe. I take a breath and I wonder…

“What will happen to me today? What blessing is in store for me? Am I ready to truly receive that which Mother Father God will give to me if I but allow it? Am I worthy of it?”

This is the type of thing I’ve waited for all my life. Through all the searching through faith pathways, through all the “church hopping” as my mom used to call it when I’d call her and tell her of some new faith organization I’d joined up with, through all of the late nights of soul searching. This is what I’ve always wanted. That feeling of being right in the palm of my higher power’s hand, ready to allow whatever is in store for me to be so.

Here I sit on the very eve of the full moon in Ares with the power of Dianna coursing through my body and I am no longer afraid.

I am ready to step out onto the tightrope of faith and see what’s next.

All that time I sat in church wanting what I saw others having. All that time I knelt on the ground asking spirit to come into me. All that time I was just barely ready to grasp it into the very tips of my fingers, I was not yet ready. I had not yet surrendered myself to its true power. But now, I’m here in this moment in time and I am ready, and so I pray…

“Thank you Goddess for the sun.

Thank you now day’s begun, all our needs, wants, desires, they’re met.

Thank you for what we have and have not yet.

Thank you when this day is through, we will still be we and you will still be you.

Light our path. Guide our way.

Give us that which to do and say.

So Mote It Be. Blessid Be. Amen.

There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.

There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.

I am she, and she is me. We are one, yet we are we.”

 

*JUST BEFORE 8:30 A.M.*

Campbell and I are just back and settled from our morning walk. What a great walk it was. I couldn’t go as far as he wanted but at least we managed to do something today.

The air was alive with sound and motion. I’ve no idea what has them so excited but the birds are all a twitter this morning. Geese gathering in midair honking hello loudly to one another, whole flocks of birds I don’t know the kind of flying about chattering excitedly together, and I even observed one who was in such a hurry it hit the top of the fence as it flew off to catch up with the rest who were flying off in such a flurry as I never saw the like of before.

The weather has a hint of rain in it. Cloudy and cool. Maybe that’s what they’re all excited about. Maybe it’s that the air has no leavings of summer whatsoever. I have no idea, but you could sure feel their energy.

One of the cats is back too. It came meowing up as we were going in and when I went out back I found their food pan was empty.

I filled it with fresh food, and after I dumped out the old water from their water bowl, I filled it with fresh cold water and sat everything back onto the deck by the steps leading down into the yard and for a while I sat there in my chair just listening to all the birds talking about who knows what with one another and it was a lovely restful time.

Once back inside, I snuggled with Campbell a bit. I’d made certain to give him his arthritis meds before going out in search of the cats and he was ready to crash.

I went into the bathroom to freshen up a bit. I’d gotten all sweaty from all the exertion of walking Campbell, then going round the house a couple times looking for the cats, and then feeding and watering them.

Once that was done I thought about getting another cup of coffee but my need to write all this down before any of it left my mind won out so here I am.

I just don’t understand why everyone doesn’t love this quiet time of putting down what they experience into words on a page.

I don’t understand when people say they’ve nothing to journal about. Don’t they experience the joy and sorrow of living in vivid living color every day just as I do and doesn’t the need to write it all down so someone somewhere later can enjoy or learn from it fill their very soul of existence? I just cannot stand the thoughts of what would happen to my mind if I didn’t empty all the words I’ve stored inside every day.

Oh, I know what can happen. I can get stuck on a person, place or thing. Get trapped in a moment or situation and obsess on it. I can become frightened or depressed when I think too much about my struggles, or I can become truly lost in uncontrolled mania. All these things can merge together and happen all at once if I don’t write but maybe that’s just exclusive to me. I don’t mean to say I’m the only one in the world who has this need to write in this way. I don’t mean to say I’m the only one in the world who has such wondrous experiences that they must put them down into the pages of their journals. I just mean that maybe for me this is the best way to deal with all I feel and that to do anything else would for me be unhealthy.

After all, haven’t I experienced the other side of the coin? Haven’t I already seen the destruction of what can happen if I don’t take down what I see, hear, think, and feel? I have and it’s an ugly mess I never want to have again.

Oh, what else might today bring? I’ve no idea, but I cannot wait to find out.

“There is no part of my body which does not belong to the Goddess.

There is no part of my life which does not belong to the Goddess.

I am she, and she is me. We are one, yet we are we.” :0

 

😊 ❤

 

 

 

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6 Responses to This Is What It Is To Live In True Faith and Birds All a Twitter: #Journal

  1. joanmyles says:

    Fabulous! Yes, I know what you mean by being in the palm of our Beloved One, trusting in Love Divine, the All to care for our needs. Thank you for shairng your experiences, my darling friend. Much love and blessins to you!

    Like

  2. Pingback: This Is What It Is To Live In True Faith and Birds All a Twitter: #Journal | Mystical Strings

  3. Thank you for this beautiful and encouraging post, Paddy!

    Like

    • Patty says:

      Hi.

      You’re so welcome and thank you for reading and commenting to let me know you enjoyed it.

      I’ve got a continuation from the next day to post but I’ve been playing catch up and haven’t gotten there yet.

      I’ll say this. Things did work out just as I knew they would.

      Like

  4. Pingback: WORDPRESS WEDNESDAY:the Writer’s Grapevine Samhain Edition October 2019 | Campbells World

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