Free Will Astrology Newsletter May 17

Week beginning May 17
Copyright 2018 by Rob Brezsny
Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A chemist named Marcellus Gilmore Edson got
a patent on peanut butter in 1894. A businessperson named George
Bayle started selling peanut butter as a snack in 1894. In 1901, a genius
named Julia David Chandler published the first recipe for a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich. In 1922, another pioneer came up with a new process
for producing peanut butter that made it taste better and last longer. In
1928, two trailblazers invented loaves of sliced bread, setting the stage
for the ascension of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to its full glory.
According to my analysis, Taurus, you’re partway through your own
process of generating a very practical marvel. I suspect you’re now at a
phase equivalent to Julia David Chandler’s original recipe. Onward! Keep

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of the most popular brands of candy in
North America is Milk Duds. They’re irregularly shaped globs of chocolate
caramel. When they were first invented in 1926, the manufacturer’s plan
was to make them perfect little spheres. But with the rather primitive
technology available at that time, this proved impossible. The finished
products were blobs, not globes. They tasted good, though. Workers
jokingly suggested that the new confection’s name include “dud,” a word
meaning “failure” or “flop.” Having sold well now for more than 90 years,
Milk Duds have proved that success doesn’t necessarily require
perfection.. Who knows? Maybe their dud-ness has been an essential part
of their charm. I suspect there’s a metaphorical version of Milk Duds in
your future, Gemini.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In my vision of your life in the coming weeks,
you’re hunting for the intimate power that you lost a while back. After
many twists and trials, you find it almost by accident in a seemingly
unimportant location, a place you have paid little attention to for a long
time. When you recognize it, and realize you can reclaim it, your
demeanor transforms. Your eyes brighten, your skin glows, your body
language galvanizes. A vivid hope arises in your imagination: how to make
that once-lost, now-rediscovered power come alive again and be of use to
you in the present time.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The etymological dictionary says that the English
slang word “cool” meant “calmly audacious” as far back as 1825. The
term “groovy” was first used by jazz musicians in the 1930s to signify
“performing well without grandstanding.” “Hip,” which was originally
“hep,” was also popularized by the jazz community. It meant, “informed,
aware, up-to-date.” I’m bringing these words to your attention because I
regard them as your words of power in the coming weeks. You can be and
should be as hip, cool, and groovy as you have been in a long time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I hope you will seek out influences that give
you grinning power over your worries. I hope you’ll be daring enough to
risk a breakthrough in service to your most demanding dream. I hope you
will make an effort to understand yourself as your best teacher might
understand you. I hope you will find out how to summon more faith in
yourself — a faith not rooted in lazy wishes but in a rigorous self-
assessment. Now here’s my prediction: You will fulfill at least one of my
hopes, and probably more.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Polish pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski once
performed for England’s Queen Victoria. Since she possessed that bygone
era’s equivalent of a backstage pass, she was able to converse with him
after the show. “You’re a genius,” she told him, having been impressed
with his artistry. “Perhaps, Your Majesty,” Paderewski said. “But before
that I was a drudge.” He meant that he had labored long and hard before
reaching the mastery the Queen attributed to him. According to my
analysis of the astrological omens, you Libras are currently in an extended
“drudge” phase of your own. That’s a good thing! Take maximum
advantage of this opportunity to slowly and surely improve your skills.



Factual information and reasonable thinking alone are not sufficient to
guide you through life’s labyrinthine tests. You need and deserve regular
deliveries of uncanny revelation.

One of your inalienable rights as a human being should therefore be to
receive mysteriously useful omens on a regular basis. In this spirit, I offer
you the free weekly horoscopes you read here.

If you ever want more, and think it’s worth paying for, try my EXPANDED
AUDIO HOROSCOPES. They’re four-to-five-minute meditations on the
current state of your destiny and where you’re headed.

To listen to your Expanded Audio Horoscope online, go to

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You can also listen over the phone by calling 1-877-873-4888..

The cost is $6 per sign on the Web (discounts available for bulk
purchases), or $1.99 per minute by phone.

The Expanded Audio Horoscopes work on most smart phones and tablets.


“Your expanded horoscopes get more personal and intimate with me than
some of my closest friends. Thanks for the loving reflections.”
– Ari S., Ann Arbor, MI

“When I listen to your audio ‘scopes, my free will lights up.” – Alex D., Los


SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The ancient Greek poet Simonides was
among the first of his profession to charge a fee for his services. He made
money by composing verses on demand. On one occasion, he was asked
to write a stirring tribute to the victor of a mule race. He declined,
declaring that his sensibilities were too fine to create art for such a vulgar
activity. In response, his potential patron dramatically boosted the
proposed price. Soon thereafter, Simonides produced a rousing ode that
included the phrase “wind-swift steeds.” I offer the poet as a role model
for you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. Be more flexible than usual about
what you’ll do to get the reward you’d like.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here’s the operative metaphor for you
these days: You’re like a painter who has had a vision of an interesting
work of art you could create — but who lacks some of the paint colors
you would require to actualize this art. You may also need new types of
brushes you haven’t used before. So here’s how I suggest you proceed:
Be aggressive in tracking down the missing ingredients or tools that will
enable you to accomplish your as-yet imaginary masterpiece.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Useful revelations and provocative
epiphanies are headed your way. But they probably won’t arrive sheathed
in sweetness and light, accompanied by tinkling swells of celestial music.
It’s more likely they’ll come barging in with a clatter, bringing bristly
marvels and rough hope.. In a related matter: At least one breakthrough is
in your imminent future. But this blessing is more likely to resemble a
wrestle in the mud than a dance on a mountaintop. None of this should be
a problem, however! I suggest you enjoy the rugged but interesting fun.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the saddest aspects of our lives as
humans is the disparity between love and romance. Real love is hard work.
It’s unselfish, unwavering, and rooted in generous empathy. Romance, on
the other hand, tends to be capricious and inconstant, often dependent
on the fluctuations of mood and chemistry. Is there anything you could
do about this crazy-making problem, Aquarius? Like could you maybe
arrange for your romantic experiences to be more thoroughly suffused
with the primal power of unconditional love? I think this is a realistic
request, especially in the coming weeks. You will have exceptional
potential to bring more compassion and spiritual affection into your
practice of intimacy.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with astrological omens, I invite
you to dream up new rituals. The traditional observances and ceremonies
bequeathed to you by your family and culture may satisfy your need for
comfort and nostalgia, but not your need for renewal and reinvention.
Imagine celebrating homemade rites of passage designed not for who you
once were but for the new person you’ve become. You may be delighted
to discover how much power they provide you to shape your life’s long-
term cycles. Ready to conjure up a new ritual right now? Take a piece of
paper and write down two fears that inhibit your drive to create a totally
interesting kind of success for yourself. Then burn that paper and those
fears in the kitchen sink while chanting “I am a swashbuckling incinerator
of fears!”

ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my assessment of the
astrological omens, your duty right now is to be a brave observer and fair-
minded intermediary and honest storyteller. Your people need you to help
them do the right thing. They require your influence in order to make
good decisions. So if you encounter lazy communication, dispel it with
your clear and concise speech. If you find that foggy thinking has started
to infect important discussions, inject your clear and concise insights.


Homework: Do something that you will remember with pride and passion
until the end of your days. Testify at


Thanks for reading everyone. Blessid Be.

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