A Blessing a Day In the Month of May # 13, 14, 15, and 16: Tears
Patty L. Fletcher
May 16, 2018
Tears. Can they be a blessing?
I’m sure many wonder how on earth I could find tears a blessing.
Well, this morning for me tears have been just that.
Tears have been a release. A release from the pressure of sadness and despondency I feel.
Some days folks the world just gets to me and today was one of those days.
I woke up this morning, got myself dressed, walked and fed my dog, sat and had my first cup of coffee with him in his room, listened to the city waking around me and I never felt so alone in my life.
So, I got myself up, dusted myself off and began to try to turn the day around.
I washed and shared an apple with Campbell. This gave me a bit of cheer. He loves apples, and his joy at receiving a bite or two was wondrous to watch.
It made me realize how we all ought to be.
He was able to find great satisfaction just by receiving a bit of apple from my hands.
For a time, I thought I might be able to push the sad feelings I had where my situation is concerned down and make it through another day with no problem.
I made myself another cup of coffee, and then I made a huge mistake.
I turned on the morning news.
As I listened to report after report of discord and confusion from our government and the rest of the world I began to realize just how horrid things are.
When I heard one person being interviewed say that, we were in the most unstable times since World War 2 I felt a sinking within like nothing before I have ever known.
As I ate the rest of my breakfast I tried to just be grateful for a place to live, food to eat, and the sweet dog wagging alongside me where ever I go throughout the day.
As I rinsed my dishes and placed them in the sink I heard the garbage truck going down the street, and as I listened to it dumping the mounds of trash from all the cans along its way the sadness I’d felt earlier came back and simply overwhelmed me.
The rain was falling hard outside, and it seemed like an act in futility.
Washing the dirt away clearing the air, and for what?
So, we can destroy Mother Earth with trash chemicals, and all the rest of the stupidity we do every-day?
I sorted out my recyclables, and trash and as I wiped down my counters the tears began to fall.
I could no longer contain them.
I cried for Mother Earth and the lack of care we give to her.
I cried for the loss I felt at not seeing my grandchildren.
I cried because of the constant state of lack I find myself in on a daily basis, and I cried for all those who are so much worse off than am I.
Then I cried because I was angry at myself for crying.
How, you ask is this a blessing?
Because I was able to release all that pent up hurt frustration and depression I felt deal with it to some degree, wash my face and live to fight another day.
Because like the rain falling outside, cleansing the air and earth, my tears cleansed me, renewed me and enable me to go on.
I am a 50-year-old disabled woman who is much of the time scared and who feels rather alone in a huge world filled with negativity and strife.
I know that Mother Father God walk with me and that I have some purpose here.
Even though at 50-years-old I still have no idea what the hell that purpose is I’m here alive and still working toward a goal.
I long for the day when something I write makes a difference in someone’s day.
I wish for the day when I can seriously earn a living from the words that flow from within me, and I know that if I try again and again some-day I will succeed.
So, I wash away my tears, give thanks for them and as the rain continues to fall I sing…
Listen to the birds sing.
Listen to the chimes ring.
Listen to King Campbell’s bell ringing.
Listen to the rain fall.
Listen to my heart call.
Listen to King Campbell’s bell ringing.
“I know that I’m alive because I can look behind me and see the wreckage of my life.”
Thanks for reading.
May harmony find you, and blessid be.