In the Name of…
November 3-9, 2017
Good morning campbellsworld visitors, and readers everywhere!
The following comes from passages taken from journals, my blog, and most of all, my heart.
Read, and enjoy.
Comment if you like, and share at will.
As it is written, so it is done.
As it is cast, so shall it be.
So Mote It Be.
WOW! That’s all I can say.
Here we are, Friday, just about sundown.
It’s the 3RD of November, a Freya’s Day, Friday Night Full Moon weekend, and I’m with a friend, who is so much more.
Campbell and I are, once again, visiting at Bobby’s house.
We’ve done so since, May 2015.
Bobby Donald and I went to school together, and thanks to Facebook, We’ve enjoyed
becoming reconnected, over the last two years.
On this night, we’ve been remembering how we came together, the magickal times of that first summer of visiting, growing, and learning with each-other.
We’ve talked of how, we spent that first summer together.
Going to the mall, walking from store to store, having lunch at the food court, Eating Chicken Wraps from Chick Filet.
Walking to Wal-Mart, Pet’s-Mart, and then riding the bus, and walking all the way up that big hill back to the apartments.
Me, giving thanks for my awesome Guide Dog training at The Seeing Eye, just a few years before.
Remembering the thrill of having the opportunity to work Campbell through…
red-lights, intersections, 4-way-stops, and parking-lots, and enjoying it all.
He, telling me of how he’d been remembering, that, after that first visit, he found himself amazed, that, Campbell and I, were as we were.
I was in many ways as I’d been in our run-around days, when we were working in Morris Town TN at Volunteer Blind Industries.
It turned out, he remembered me, and had good things to say about that time.
He enjoyed walking with me, as I worked Campbell.
In fact, after a couple times walking together, we all began to get into a routine, and though it changes, according to the situation, the three of us work well together.
The guide dog experience and its importants is not lost on Bobby.
He has a profound respect, and, for someone who doesn’t use a guide, and has some vision, he understands, a lot about what Campbell and I do, and how complex that is.
As I’ve gone through these last two years with him in my life, in some form or fashion, it has been awesome.
Something I’ve never done, has been to pursue a possible relationship, while maintaining and strengthening a wonderful friendship. Let me just add here, that it is not, an easy task.
It is very much, worth it.
So, here I sit, Campbell curled on the couch beside me. Bobby on the patio smoking and talking with his son, on the phone, as they plan their Thanksgiving trip to visit his mother, and, oh, don’t you know, just how proud it makes me to know that he takes the time to go and visit her, during the holiday season.
That, is the mark, of a wonderful man, and to me, says he values the importants of a woman.
Could it be, that if he values his mother’s happiness, he would, if we were together, as a couple, value mine?
Do I ever dare to ask?
As the music, I chose, plays on the stereo, and the happiness I feel just being here, curled up on the couch with Campbell, writing, living, in a way that I’ve not done in 11 months,
Living, that’s it.
This is the first away-trip I’ve taken since being home, and reasonably well.
I’m amazed at how strange it feels.
In fact, at first it had been almost uncomfortable.
Luckily, he has some neighbors, with whom he chats, while smoking, so it gave me time to catch my breath.
If I’d known then, what those folks were like, I might have jumped into the car with his friend Mike, and paid him double to drive me back
The problem is simple, yet not.
His neighbors and I have different things in common, and the fact that I don’t smoke, makes me even more an outsider, so that part of the visit will be, has been, and might be for a while upon returning, a difficulty, until some balance can be set.
As it has turned out, so far, at least, I’m glad I didn’t do that.
I just didn’t think about what a big deal it has been, that Campbell and I made this trip.
It has been a year since we’ve been here.
Hell, come to think of it, except for small around-town-trips, we’ve not been anywhere major since my fall in January of this year.
After my last trip here, in January of 2017, I started the downhill slide with illness, beginning with the knee injury, on the very night I returned home.
You can read about that Mudslide here on the blog.
If you do, and then decide to follow up with related posts, you’ll understand why certain portions of this visit, have been, and might for a time, continue to be, hard for me.
As I sit, writing, making sure to capture the moment, I realized this is the first time Campbell and I have, been away since our having been home from the hospital and nursing therapy.
It is a lot to take in, cope with, handle, and do.
Campbell’s having someone to hang out with and play with other than me, that he doesn’t have to watch after, or care for in some way, has been good for him, and he’s showing it in a big way.
Wagging and grinning that labby grin, every chance he gets.
For me, though I am enjoying this Immensely and imagine I will continue to do so, the level of discomfort at trying to relearn what it is to have several different types of people around at once is just a bit much.
It will, I’m sure, pass with time.
Great company, great food, great eats, and drinks.
Someone to spend a little time with. Just might be the ticket to the start of a good fall and winter season. If, I can get myself together.
It’s kind of like we spend certain seasons together.
Weird, but as I read my journaling’s, it is looking more and more like a pattern to me.
Our first visits happened during, late summer, and early fall.
Then, during the first part of winter, of 2016.
After a time, we stopped visiting so much, but throughout the second summer and fall, we did have several more visits.
After those, some time passed, and then in early winter of 2017 we had a holiday visit, during which we both caught the flu, and learned a ton about one another.
While Bobby was talking with his son, Campbell made it quite clear, he wanted him to take him for a walk.
Campbell has become quite vocal in his old age.
Let’s not forget, he’ll be 9-years-old his birthday at the end of this month.
He went to the door, twice, while Bobby was on the phone.
Pacing back and forth between me, and the door, making GRR noises as he went
When Bobby was done, and back inside, I made him aware, and he was happy to take him out.
When they came back, the two of them had some great play-time.
Wrestling, and rough-housing. Something I really cannot do with Campbell as much as I once did.
As I take down these precious moments, they’re, still at it. 😊
Campbell has started his pre-birthday celebration too.
They’re playing, dancing, doing the Wigga Woo!
Campbell brought his favorite teddy bear, we bought last year while we were here, and they are having a blast.
Well, off to enjoy all this for a while.
Before I do let me just say…
Enjoy every moment, take it down in some way, but also, imprint it firmly into your mind.
Saturn’s Day Celebrations: Lesson Learned
Good Morning World! What have you for me today?
That, is a question, I’ve started asking quite often.
Actually, the prayer goes…
Thank you for the morning sun.
Thank you, when day is done, all my needs, they will be met.
Thanks to you, for what I have, and have not yet.
Thanks that when this day is through, there will still be me, and you.
And so, it is with thanks that I ask this day, light my path, and guide my way.
So, Mote It Be.
Here we are, on Saturday morning, November 4TH, the Scorpio full moon fully in place, and it is shaping up to be an awesome Saturn’s Day full moon morning, and Freya’s is still lending her love filled power to our continuing celebration.
Fresh coffee is to hand, and I had a wonderful morning walk with my boy.
Something we get here, that we don’t have need of at home, is working to and from the park area, we’ve chosen, and it is good for the both of us to have a bit of a different morning routine.
Bobby followed us down at a distance to make certain we had our Barings in place, and I appreciated that consideration very much.
It’s not everyone who would, get up at 4 AM just to walk a blind woman, and her dog to relieve itself.
Of course, when we came back in, Campbell had to have a moment or two with Bobby, then he took his morning meds, and flopped back out to sleep the morning away, just as he does at home. I’m glad to see, that Campbell can be comfortable everywhere we are together.
Well, for now I’m off, and will write more as the days go by.
November, 4 2017
Mention of bodily function during sickness!
Weak Stomach people beware! ***
It has been a wonderful day.
We spent the morning hanging out, drinking coffee, and generally enjoying ourselves.
When Bobby went to work, I spent time reading email, and Facebook posts on my phone, and only when the battery began to fail, did I realize I needed to get started with my day.
I took a hot soaking bath, washed and conditioned my hair, shaved, and bathed with wonderful smelling shower jell.
When Bobby got home from work, I was just finishing cleaning up the kitchen.
I’d eaten too, and was ready to change clothes, when Bobby told me that his friend Mike was coming over, to take us to the grocery.
This was a pleasant surprise, so I left the kitchen, went and changed into shorts, brushed my hair, and after putting it into a pony-tail, declared myself ready to go.
As we walked to the car in the misty humid air, a few minutes later, I was glad I’d chosen shorts. The weather it seemed, had turned off quite warm.
While I was glad for it, I knew when it turned again, for a few days at least, it would seem rather crewel. I had no idea how true that statement would turn out to be.
Nor, did I have any idea, what type of affect it would have on my emotions, and sensitivity to spiritual activity.
Again, had I realized what was to come, I might’ve turned tail, and run.
Let me also add, had I done so, I’d have missed out on some life lessons, and folks, that would’ve been a shame.
We had a fine trip to the store, and once there, Campbell’s work was spot on.
I worked him in and out of the store, and heeled him while holding onto the buggy, while we shopped.
He behaved beautifully too.
His sniffing was at a minimum, and for this I was, extremely, grateful.
Once back home, I took Campbell to park, while Bobby carried in groceries.
When that was done, we were feeling just a tad hungry, so we had a bite of lunch, and after I made sure Campbell did not need anything else, we took a short nap.
During which I found I could not fall asleep, so at Bobby’s suggestion, I brought my computer into bed, propped up on pillows, and did some work.
I read Emails, Facebook and blog posts, and shared what I could of my daily favorites. It was a pleasant change. Guy-friends in the past, have frowned on such.
Well, as the afternoon went along, I walked Campbell again, and started drinking my wine.
I drank a glass, and had part of my dinner.
I rested a bit, and drank another glass.
As the evening continued, I drank three glasses, and two Mike’s Hard Lemon-aid.
I suddenly was drunk off my ass, sick to my stomach, and not able to puke, or piss.
Just felt like I might explode.
Just when I was looking for a pressure valve, it began.
Horrible, throwing-up, and for a moment I thought I might pass-out.
Bobby came in, to check on me, asking if he could get me anything.
I had him wet a cloth for me, and I washed my face, neck and hands, because I felt I had something on me. After a little while, I began to feel alright again.
I cleaned up after myself, and sent Bobby in to inspect as I came out.
I sure as hell know one thing, I can’t drink like I used to.
Being fifty is gonna suck.
But, it’s great too.
I’ve lived, and learned a ton.
You know? As I continue reading over my journal, and put all this down for a book, I am starting to think again about my entire situation, and, there’s just one more reason to write.
If only to put your thoughts into perspective.
That’s sure what I’m doing.
I’m just going to copy this from my blog. There might be times, when I edit a bit, but for the most part of this, it comes straight from my blog, and journal.
Good morning campbellsworld visitors, and readers everywhere.
Campbell and I hope this Sunday finds you feeling awesome, and content.
That’s how it is for us, here at our friend Bobby’s house.
We’ve been here since Thursday evening, and having a great time.
Campbell is curled next to me, snoring the snoozie snore of a happy lab.
He has been out a couple times, had his breakfast, and meds, as well as his Sunday morning treat.
Yes, on Sunday’s he gets a treat.
Not much other time of the week.
Other than the occasional tiny treat from the postman.
Anyhow, we’ve been hanging out, Bobby’s working on his new hobby of electric trains.
Me reading books, emails, and other social media junk.
These are great activities for this rainy Sunday morn.
Just a quiet day, of rest.
I’m surprised that I’m not hungover, or feeling drab, after my experience of having eaten and drank too much last night.
It was a great Freya’s Week-End Pre-Birthday Celebration, and I lived to tell all about it. The Tail)Tale as it were. 😊
So, well, all is well this morning.
Had a wonderful hot soak, fabulous morning of worship and meditation, had some great time reading online book samples, and generally just hanging out and doing nothing.
Chatting with clients, and potential clients.
All is good, here, and we hope where you are.
Until next time this is Patty, who’s got it together for a minute, and Campbell A.K.A Bubba, who’s in it to win it! Saying…
May harmony find you, and blessid be.
Tomorrow, back to work for Bobby, and writing day for me.
Sunday Late Evening
This has been a wonderfully restful day.
I spent time blogging, and reblogging.
I spent time setting up an ad or two, even though it is my day off, because it needed doing, and I love my work.
I spent time admiring Bobby’s electric train set, that he is putting together, and building the tracks and such for.
Bobby will be up early for work in the morning, and tomorrow, I’m going to write.
Tuesday Bobby will have a training meeting, and I’ll be here all the long day, and will do my client work.
Wed. Will be more of the same, then Thursday I’ll take the day off to spend with him, and come back home that night.
Friday, I finally have my biopsies, and the weekend, Campbell and I will recover from all.
I plan to do things differently financially this month, and plan to not have such a hard time.
I start in earnest with the Oasis by having a personal resources evaluation on the 3RD Thursday of this month, and I have a plan for Thanksgiving too.
Things are going OK for now. Now is all I have, so I’ll be grateful for it, try not to get too stressed next time things get rough, and hope that I always remember, that this too shall pass.
On Monday of this week, I wrote the following muse.
As I read over it now, I wonder exactly what inspired it.
I think, there were a couple things, and I have to get them in my head a bit, before I can really write of them.
Just not sure how to even start.
So, in the meantime, here’s the muse…
Have you ever found yourself, in a place, a place, you’re enjoying? In fact, having the time of your life, yet, realized it’s not yet exactly where you want to be?
Have you ever realized that while you could be happy, and mostly content…? (Who has all of what they want?)
Is that wrong thinking?
Should I be content, rest, in what I can have here? Can I be satisfied, or will my longing for more, in time, erode love, happiness, tender, joy?
Mustn’t we be wary of this?
What is the correct answer?
I do not yet know?
Have cast, through the full moon did ask.
Now, moon she doth wane, and power, it doth drain, with it must go, any blocks, known, or unknown.
Must be cleared out! Wiped away!
Made clean, clear, and new.
From My Shadowy Book of Shadows
Patty L. Fletcher
The following offering presents the message of what making and keeping a sacred vow can do for you, and your spiritual life.
Even touches on how important it is to the physical self, and that you cannot have a keen sense of trust without having experienced this.
What it doesn’t speak of is how it feels when you, accidentally or on purpose, break a sacred vow.
A vow, when made, to you, the maker, as sacred as any ever made within a church, or by a priest.
it is quite painful, when you awaken to your truest self, and realize the truth of the damage you caused.
You can say the following affirmation from now on, but unless you can, work through, with all involved, it never really heals.
“Today is yesterday’s tomorrow, and tomorrow is another day.”
*The following is taken from GrannyMoon*s Weekly Feast…
A Sacred Vow
A sacred vow, once spoken, becomes a part of your existence forevermore.
Speech is a vehicle for vows, but the sacred vows we speak are more than just words. When we make a promise, a subtle yet powerful shift takes place in our souls where intentions are housed. A vow is both a tool we employ in order to facilitate transformation within ourselves and an expression of will. Thus, to make an oath is to communicate to the universe and our deeper selves our commitment to the principles most important to us. Fulfilling a sacred vow–whether it is as complex as “’till death do us part” or as simple as “I promise”–challenges us, exercising our willpower and aiding personal growth.
When we speak a sacred vow out loud rather than reciting it in our minds or recording it on paper, our voices project our promises into the deepest reaches of the universe. It is important that we remember that a vow made with the sincerest of intentions has the power to carry on past our earthly lifetimes. A well-chosen vow encourages commitment and dedication. The presence or approval of a spiritual teacher is not necessary to success, as true oaths are a product of the heart.
A sacred vow, once spoken, becomes a part of your existence forevermore. Your view of the world around you may change, and your predominant thoughts and feelings will no doubt evolve with time, but the spirit in which your oaths were spoken will remain unaffected. It is up to you to determine how you will stay true to your vows while your inner- and outer-world existence is transformed. Your strength and character will inevitably be tested as circumstances make keeping promises increasingly challenging, but after you have shown yourself steadfast many times, your appreciation of the sanctity of vows will be cemented in your mind and soul.
Before I go ‘forward’ with the writing of our visit with Bobby, I want to speak just a bit about the above offering.
The following troubles me, and I want to say why.
The passage says…
“to determine how you will stay true to your vows while your inner- and outer-world existence is transformed. Your strength and character will inevitably be tested as circumstances make keeping promises increasingly challenging, but after you have shown yourself steadfast many times, your appreciation of the sanctity of vows will be cemented in your mind and soul.”
The reason I have trouble with this is that when Drew took the time, effort, and energy to come and visit with Campbell and me, to help us with a work-route, and I’m sure to check on the whereabouts, and progress of his work, and shortly after, I was, very dishonest with him.
This gave him a false idea, and, ‘Believing’ all was well with us, he went home.
feeling satisfied that, He’d gotten the message across to me concerning the importants of dog, and handler team work, and that we lived in a relatively safe place, with someone who, “Loved us”
He also ‘believed me’ when I promised, “On Campbell’s Honor” when I told him that I would not abuse his email and phone information.
I feel horrible guilt from having done such, and am ‘Not’ yet recovered from it.
So, why, does this bother me, while I’m with Bobby?
The answer, is simple.
I fear my mental illness will strike again. I fear being enable at times for worry of hurting him, being completely honest. In short, I “fear.”
Well, I guess I’m going to have to get a handle on this. I’m also, going to have to get a handle on some things that trouble me, and get to a point so that I can be honest with him about such.
In the meantime, here’s a snippet of what, goes on behind the scenes. You know? Stuff I don’t normally write about.
Someone said once, they’d like a peek at that.
Well, here it is…
Oh, by the way? The ditty about my feelings concerning the writing above?
Written after I wrote the following, and without my revisiting this…
Asking Tough Questions: Making Hard Decisions
My Shadowy Book of Shadows
If you find yourself making lists, of changes needing made, concerning a situation straight away, it’s a good bet, you’re in the wrong situation.
This is where I find myself this AM.
I find that things could be awesome, however…
And it is that, ‘however’ that worries me.
There are too many variables that come into play that make me stop, take a good look around, and ask questions.
While, “Don’t hold someone prisoner of your past” is a good rule of thumb, it is not bad to question things, and ask yourself if you’re sure that what bothers you, would be something you could tolerate for the long-run.
Maybe you can justify it for a time, but as you go down your road of life, would you be able to continue?
If you don’t think so, then take a new path.
If it’s a job offer, think carefully, and ask for all the fine print to be disclosed in a contract.
If it is a school you’re considering attending, ask tough questions that encompass the big picture, and if, Gods forbid it is a relationship, you’d best ask the really tough questions.
1. Where will we be as a couple in 5 or 10 years?
2. How will we spend our time when we’re both retired and wanting things to do as a couple?
3. What things do we have in common?
4. How will those commonalities grow?
The list goes on and on, but you get the idea.
Those are good questions to ask no matter the situation you find yourself in, and I’d suggest them before making any long-term decisions.
Well, this is Patty, who is unsure of herself, and King Campbell A.K.A Bubba who says, ‘Follow your dog’ saying…
May harmony find you, and blessid be.
Thor’s Day is here.
Birthday Celebrating Is Here…
And Home, Is To Come!
Folks, it’s been a wonderful day so far, and I’m not even half-done yet.
Started drinking beer at 1 O’clock, and don’t plan to stop until about an hour before I am to travel. Not then, if I can figure a way to take it with me.
Below, is a clipping from a writing, I posted earlier today. It will, like all the rest, most likely be edited.
So far, this morning, has been a great one.
I officially turn 50-years-old at 10:30 AM Eastern Time, and magickally enough, I was, in fact, born on a Thor’s Day.
So, I’m going to magick, some things this morning, and only wish I could know all the signs in my birthday.
it’s been a grand day thus far.
Thanks to all, who have sent birthday wishes.
As usual, I’m a bit overwhelmed by it all.
Last year, when I got so many, I wrote that it was a wonderful surprise, and that, to me, it was like receiving all these neat personalized birthday cards, from all my friends.
I, tried then, as I am now, to reply to all of them.
I’m certain I’ve missed a few, so I’ll just say thanks to all yall right here and now.
It’s much needed, and appreciated.
There’s nothing like having it confirmed that people care.
This has thus far, been and will continue to be a wonderful day.
Thanks to all!
Before we go, here’s the magickal meaning for today…
GrannyMoon Says Today Is: Thor’s Day
Energy: Male, Ruler: Jupiter – Rules growth, expansion, generosity – Use
for magick involving growth, expansion, prosperity, money, business,
attracting more of what you have.
Today’s Magickal Influences ~ Luck, Religion, Healing, Trade and Employment,
Treasure, Honors, Riches, Legal Matters
Today’s Goddesses: Juno, Hera, Kwan Yin, Mary, Cybele, Tara, Mawu, Mlaba
Mwana Waresa, Ishtar, Nuit
Perfumes: Stock, Lilac, Storax, Aloes
Incense: Nutmeg, Henbane
Color of The Day: Purple, Indigo, Blue
Colors for Tomorrow: Light Blue, Pale Green
Lucky Sign: Thursday Is the Lucky Day For Sagittarius And Pisces
Freya’s Day Back Home
November, 10 2017
Again, from my blog, and journal…
Hi, and good morning, readers everywhere!
Campbell, and I, are home.
We, are very glad of it too.
Oh, it’s not that we didn’t have a good time at Bobby’s, don’t get me wrong.
It’s just, Campbell and I have gotten used to things a certain way, and maybe I’m being dumb, but there were just a few things about the entire situation of traveling to, and visiting at Bobby’s, that made me think.
Now, having done so, has helped me make some tough decisions.
That’s kind of what the visit was designed to do.
I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, you know? Really give some thought to what I wanted, and what I did not.
I found some of each on this trip, and I’m very glad I went.
I had a wonderful time laughing and talking with Bobby.
Having someone to have fun with, who understands your needs as a multiply disabled person is quite important, and, knowing, that no matter what happens, you’ll always have that friend. That’s, neat stuff.
First, you ought to understand, if you don’t already, that I have had, and in some ways, still have, some strong feelings toward Bobby.
There was a time, at least for me, when I thought we might be more than “Friends”
That, has not taken place.
I, went to Bobby’s, with a part of me hoping that might could still be.
I’ve seen, that, now, that, simply is not, an option.
That, makes me both, sad, and relieved. All in the same hour. I don’t even have the ability to explain that. Other than to say, that I’m sad, that I cannot find a way to be with such a kind, caring, loving, considerate, man.
I’m relieved, only because I’ve realized, that I was not the right person for Bobby, and knowing that we’re on the same page there, and that, I can keep my friend, is priceless.
The way things have worked out for the two of us, well, I’m glad.
Bobby, has developed a hobby, and is making some new friends.
This, is good.
I, have created a business, and life for myself.
We, it seems have grown, and somehow, in some ways, we just did not grow together.
We’re like a tree. Branching out in different directions, yet remaining connected, steadfast at the root.
To me, that’s a gift, like none other I’ve ever known.
Before, in every similar situation I’ve found myself feeling totally to blame for all the problems, whatever they were. Not to mention alone, and like something from the scratched and dented pile.
This time, that is not the case, and for this I rejoice!
So, here we are, Friday morning is here, there is yet another snafu with my getting to the doctor for these biopsies, and frustrated doesn’t quite cover what I feel.
Yes, there’s always a but…
Today is good, I am going to go out and about, and enjoy the day.
How, is Campbell? You ask. Well, he’s doing super awesome. I hear him growing restless on the couch, so I’m guessing it’s about time to take him out, catch the weather, and head out for the day.
“All is well. All is well, and, all manner of things are well.”
I don’t know who originally said that, I heard it from…
The Talisman, King Stephen…
Until next time, this is Patty and Campbell, A.K.A Bubba who are ready for everything saying…
May harmony find you, and blessid be.