Our Choices Are Ours To Live With: Stay In Them, or Get Out
Patty L. Fletcher
October, 30 2017
Good evening readers everywhere. I hope this message finds you well. If it does not, do something about it.
That is, in fact the theme of this post, and I hope you’ll read all the way to the end.
First, let me just say, that I totally get being depressed. I totally get being scared, and I totally get “the devil you know, is better than the devil you don’t”
You know what else I get? Being sick and tired of my situation, and making the decision to do something about it.
The second thing I’d like to say is that I’m damned grateful for the friends I had, and still have, who were, and are straight up with me. The ones who I never have to check the stories of, worry about whether they’re bull shitting me, and listen for the changes within the stories they tell each time they tell them.
Now, I used to be one of those people who, colored my reality, changed my story to suit my situation, and who always wanted to play the victim, and who, at times wallowed in my own self-pity.
Then one day I woke up, realized I was by myself, that sometimes I went days at a time without seeing a single solitary soul, and that if I died in that very moment, not too many would give a crap.
That, was just about 2 AM on May 4TH when the doctors were telling me I was in pretty bad shape, and that it might be a good idea to call a family member or friend.
I realized that other than a friend and his wife, who were in their 70’s, or the folks at The Seeing Eye, there really weren’t a whole lot of people I could call on.
Then, I had to ask myself, why that was, and that, folks, is when I began to realize that if I lived through the sickness that was trying to take me from this world, I basically had 2 choices. I could either get my act together once and for all, or else I may as well, just curl up and die.
I, have chosen to live, and furthermore, I have chosen to get my act together.
What, inspired this rant? You ask.
Well, I think I just heard someone lamenting about how they didn’t feel they belonged in any group, and how bad their circumstance one time too many, and, well, it reminded me of the old me.
Yep, sure did. Used to do all that.
Remember my post about not fitting into any whole? Or, maybe the one where I wrote of how bad things were, and how not one person cared? Or…
Well, you get the idea.
If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that, in one way or another I’ve written all those Oh poor poor pitiful me posts.
What’s more, I’m sick of them.
We all have choices. We can, choose to sit, and talk about how our lives are all messed up, and make ourselves believe we’re doing best we can, or we can choose to stop lying to ourselves, realize that no, we’re not doing best we can, because if we were our lives would not be the mess they are that makes us so miserable.
I, for one, have felt all these things I’ve written of that annoy me, and like I say have at one time or another said them all, but at the end of the day, no one is going to take care of me like I will, and no one can get me out of the mess I’m in but me.
Yes, we all need a little help. Yes, we all get discouraged, but my now retired EX supervisor had a saying, and it was true when he said it to us during a training class once, and it is true today.
“The person you’re helping had better be willing to work 51 percent harder than you are.”
Folks, I have tried and failed a thousand dozen times.
I have joined and left a hundred or so groups, but you don’t just sit down and give up, and you don’t put the blame for your problems on everyone else.
What do you do? You pull yourself up and you keep trying. If you choose not to, then you may as well start dying, cause those are the only choices you have.
Sound harsh? That’s because it is.
Is it easy? Nope, it is not.
There are 3 things you must do to even begin.
1. Admit to yourself you are in a mess.
2. Admit what you did to cause said mess, and if someone else helped you get into that mess, either hold them accountable, and make them help, or get the hell away from them.
3. Then, do something about it all.
Those are the first things you got to do.
Then, you find something that works, and you keep trying till you do.
What don’t you do?
Sit round and feel sorry for yourself, and if you want to whine, take it somewhere else, cause I’ve done enough whining for the whole damned world, and I found it don’t work, and I don’t want to hear about it.
Well, that’s my rant, and now I’m out.
Talk soon, and blessid be.