A Halloween Trick Sure As Hell Not a Treat: First Cold of the Season
Patty L. Fletcher
October, 31 2017
Good morning everyone. Or, not?
For the last several days, I’ve awakened with a stuffy nose.
Up until now, I’ve been telling myself it was morning nose, and that it would go away once I got awake, and stirring round.
For the most part, up until this morning, that is, that worked.
This morning I woke with a stuffy/runny nose, aching joints, and some sort of frog like creature in my throat.
I tried to convince myself it would leave after a cup or two of coffee.
Tried to believe that it was just the chill of the morning making my joints feel as if they were filled with glass shards, ready to rip through out of my skin, into the light of day, but no go! Aint working!
I feel like crap. My head is full of some alien presents, not of this world, my throat has been taken over by something resembling some sort of amphibious being, and my chest, well, we just won’t go there.
On top of this, I’m on full bitch alert. Everything pisses me off.
Got the info for my Paypal Pre-paid card last night, decided to wait until this morning to activate it. Got up this morning, searched searched, and searched through my files, damn file was no-place.
Nearly tossed the computer out the window.
So, I spent nearly 20 minutes searching, and searching, and searching through my trash folder in my email looking for it, telling myself that if I lived through this moment I’d start emptying this folder more than once per century, and finally after 100 or so emails later, I found the cursed thing.
I’ve activated the card. Thanks be to all that is good and holy, it was not hard to do. If it had been hard I might not be writing this post now.
The first thing I plan to buy is a box of cold medication, a very large bag of some sort of chocolate candy, and a couple cans of broth.
Then I plan to slink home, put on my floppiest clothes, get underneath a comforter, and dare some snot nosed kid to knock on my door shouting Trick-Or-Treat.
If there has ever been a Scrooge of Halloween I am it this year.
If not, well, there is a first time for everything.
That large bag of chocolate candy? That, ladies and gents is for me.
No, I am not accepting Trick-or-Treaters this year. I am to go out of town for a pre-birthday celebration this weekend, and by all the Gods, and Goddesses that are, ever will be or ever have been, I am going.
First, I must get rid of the aliens who have invaded my body.
Until next time this is the Sneezing Patty, and King Campbell A.K.A Bubba who is going to stay the hell out of her way saying…
May harmony find you, and blessid be.
PS. Stay away from sneezing people, it is the ruination of the whole damned world.
Who the hell needs weapons of mass destruction when there is the common cold?