Good evening CAMPBELLSWORLD VISITORS!!! I’m betting you’re wondering how I can have a Positive Perspective and a Spring Cold at the same time. Well, it is possible to do. For me, although I have felt, and still feel pretty rotten, this day has been a great one. In spite of my nasty cold, Campbell and I did enjoy some sunshine and warm breezes. I have been enjoying some awesome reading, and have been learning how to use a new email program despite the fact that I was resistant to it at first. So, it has been a pretty good day.
Another thing that has been positive about this day have been the awesome yet sometimes emotional memories of days gone by. Today makes 6 years that I went to The Seeing Eye. As I wrote yesterday in my Positive Perspective post, on April 2ND of 2011 I made my journey to Morristown New Jersey, and entered an ancient, and magical land like nothing before or since I have ever visited. I met wonderful and wise people. Had terrifying, and tremendous experiences, and came away 26 days later with a big, hairy, slobbery beast which I can now not do without.
I have enjoyed adventures, trials, and terrifying times due to having come home with Campbell all those years ago. I have been elated, and heart-broken. I have faced fears, and foe. I have learned things about myself, I never could have done any other way, and although I have occurred loss as well, the gain has outweighed, it all!
As I walked in my yard with Campbell earlier this day I thought about that moment when I arrived at The Seeing Eye. I was scared to death. Thought I’d made the worst possible mistake ever in my life by coming there, yet I was excited and awed as well. When I met Drew Gibbon, I met a man who would forever change my life. He has not one idea in what wonderful ways he has done so. It was never his intent to do anything but train me to work and handle this dog. He never meant to do more than to turn me into the best Dog Guide Owner Handler I could be, and while he did that, he did much more. By befriending me, and then turning away from me, he has allowed me to face, and learn to deal with one of the most horrible portions of my Mental Illness. He has shown me that I can overcome this, and that while it may never be totally gone from me, I can indeed harness and control it. For that I am more grateful than I have words to express. I very much wish that he could know the things I have learned from having had this experience. Earlier today I wrote in another place that I had not been as successful as I’d like to have been with the publishing of my first book, Campbell’s Rambles: How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life, and in one way this is true. In another it is false. False, because the success I have had while not what I thought, wanted, or expected it would be is huge. In writing it, and having all the experiences after, I have learned about a part of myself that has over the years destroyed much, but thanks to all I have learned, I don’t believe I’ll ever be as sick with that again.
NOW as I walk “Forward” with Campbell by my side, I know that I can face this part of me, and deal with it. I don’t have to be afraid of it anymore, and I don’t have to allow it to rule me.
Later as I cooked a simple dinner I thought of how I’d learned to try new things at Drew’s gentle urging, and how had I not done so I’d have never even tried to write a book, and I’d have never started this blog, or begun an Online magazine. I have often, and still do wonder if he and others who do the work he does, know the types of changes they bring about in people’s lives. For a time I was angry with him. Angry because he refused to talk to me about all that has happened. Angry that he did not question me when my behavior changed so, and angry because he seemed to be behaving in a cold and unfeeling manner. While I still have some questions unanswered, and feelings left un-dealt with I have shrugged off the anger, and replaced it with forgiveness, and gratefulness.
Do I still hope one day he and I will cross paths again, and come to some gentle understanding of what transpired between us? Yes, most assuredly I do. Do I think that is possible? Absolutely. When will that be? I haven’t any idea. For NOW I am just so proud of the person I have become, and curious about what I might be able to do next, I can only slip those desires into their ‘place’ and leave them there for another time.
Later still this evening, as I sat reading a book, and thinking about the story unfolding in its pages, I thought about my life, and how it related to what I was reading. I was reading the 2ND to last book in the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. And I thought about Rand, the Dragon Reborn. I thought about how fate took his life and made it something entirely different than what he thought it would be. I thought about how that happens to many of us and how we spend a ton of time fighting it just as did he, rather than simply excepting that there is a higher power. There are at times forces beyond what we can understand, and that there are times when we have no choice. Something will happen, and it is not always the something we think, or even want. In the end though, if we learn to go with the flow. Allow the current of life to move us, relax and simply go with the flow, rather than thinking we know more than that which created us we can and will do great things.
So NOW as I make these awesome discoveries within my own life. As I learn to go with the current of life, and become excited about what lies ahead for me and my dog, and whatever future dogs I may have, I cannot wait. I am planning to publish again soon, and I hope this time I am able to achieve some of what I’d intended with the publishing of the first book.
As I ready myself and Campbell for the week ahead, I am left with the question… Wonder what’s next? I have plans for this week, and the majority of what I’ve planned will happen, but what else is waiting? What awesome things will happen if I step aside and allow the hand of creation to work? I do not know, but this week I am going to pay special attention. Attention to the mishaps. To the unplanned twists and turns. I am going to make notes in my journal when unexpected things come along, and at the end of the week, I plan to sit down and look over them. I am willing to bet a dollar to a dog bone that I’ll find treasures I never knew could be.
What awesome things are happening in your life? How many of them are so because of unexpected happenings? If you’d like, share some of them here in the comments section, or if you’ve not given it much thought, maybe you’ll sit down and do so. I hope you will do both.
Until next time this is Patty, who is ever grateful for all the new wondrous things happening in her life, and the ever awesome and amazing King Campbell A.K.A. Bubba from The Seeing Eye the most Ancient and Magical Guide Dog School in the land saying…
May harmony find you, and Blessid Be.