Hello again everyone! I’m glad yall stopped back by. I’m telling you I never knew I was so darned clumsy! CLUTS! Is an understatement these days to be sure. First I spilled an entire cup of coffee. Then last night…! Oh! Yeah! Yall haven’t heard last night’s Blueberry blow up have you? Well, grab an extra cup of coffee, and possibly a helmet to keep me from dropping anything on your head, and settle in for another installment of what I ought to call: CLUTS At Large! Well, anyhow…
As you know yesterday morning I spilled a cup of coffee. Flooded the counter tops of my friend Bobby’s kitchen. Cleaned up and lived through that mess. Went out yesterday and had a great time shopping eating lunch etc. Well, last night when we got home, the CLUTS returned in all her glory.
Yesterday evening as Bobby and I watched the evening news, I was enjoying a drink or two, and in fact was just heading into the kitchen to retrieve another Mike’s Black Cherry Hard Lemon Aid, when my next disaster struck. We were chatting about all the happenings on the political scene, making jokes, and trying to deal with what is for folks like us a scary time of change. Maybe I’m a bit upset by all this, I don’t know. Since I have no other real good explanation for all my clumsy behavior of late, I’m blaming it on the Trumpian state of the country.
Anyhow, as I reached into the frig, for another drink I heard, “Thud! Splat!” I suddenly felt little round cold things rolling all around my feet, and realized to my dismay that I’d managed to knock to the floor and spill an entire box of blueberries. Which, I might add we’d just gotten at the store that very day. “SHIT!!! F**CK*** A!” I yelled! Bobby came into the kitchen and there I stood with my mouth hanging open, and blueberries rolling round all over the place. Then to my utter horror along came Campbell, and all thoughts of the floor swallowing me disappeared. I reached out and just did stop my happy hyperhungry Labrador from scooping up all those blueberries. As he skidded to full stop! I could almost hear him thinking, “I got it mom! I’m here to serve! I am after all a Service Dog, and I’m here at your Service.!” Turning him round I simply took him and made an immediate Exit Stage Left! Out of the kitchen! I simply could not believe I’d spilled all those darn things, and after the spills I’d already had that day I was feeling a bit low. How did Bobby take it? Well, he is rather amazing. He simply laughed, and as he swept them up and away he said sweetly, “AWW! Hell! If that’s the worst thing that happens after Trump’s going into office, we’re good.” I had to laugh. I was starting to feel the drinks I’d had and I couldn’t help it.
After he finished with yet another mess of mine he brought me another drink, and we continued what was a great evening.
***Fast Forward to this morning***
I am beginning to think there’s something horribly wrong with the gravity field in Bobby’s kitchen, else here’s some damned spirit that has decided to move in and reek havoc in what is normally for me a peaceful time.
What happened? Well…
I’d just entered the kitchen for another cup of coffee. I took the carton of chocolate soy milk out of the frig put a bit into my coffee cup and decided I’d heat it a bit so it would not make the coffee cold. I slid the mug into the microwave, selected my settings and pressed start. I stood waiting for the milk to warm, and congratulated myself on having such a productive morning. I’d made coffee, fed, and walked Campbell with no trouble. I’d finished a blog post, and was almost caught up with mail for the day. Just then the microwave beeped, and my awesome peaceful morning was destroyed!
I opened the door to the microwave. Reached in, and removed the mug. As I reached with my other hand to shut the door, the hand holding the mug suddenly decided it no longer wished to do so, and as is sometimes the case for me simply let go. The mug fell into Campbell’s empty food bowl with a huge CLANG! And CRACK! “Patty? You OK in there?” Came Bobby’s sleepy concerned voice from the other room. “Oh! Everything’s just awesome! No big deal! Just cannot hold onto a damn thing this morning!” I called back in my most cherry voice. “All’s well! Just cracked the mug in half, and spilled milk into Campbell’s bowl.”
I set about cleaning up another mess, and wondered if Bobby was ready to send me home a day early. Feeling rather low, I finished cleaning everything up, replaced Campbell’s bowls into the floor, and reached carefully into the cabinet for another cup.
As I sit here now drinking yet another cup of coffee, I am disgusted. I have never had so many mishaps in one week. I guess we’re learning all about my Clumsy side this week, but Bobby is awake, drinking a cup of coffee himself, and so far everything is still in one piece.
For now this ends my tale, come again soon and see if I’ve managed to destroy Westhills Village.
Until next time this is the CLUTSY Patty and her Cautious Campbell saying…
May harmony find you, and when it does, could you send some to me? Blessid be.