Just hanging out on a cold dark plate autumn night. Reading, and drinking hot strong black tea. I know… I know… it’ll keep me up and when I do go to bed, I’ll wake up at least twice to pee. I hear ya Momma. She used to tell me that all the time, while she drank a late night cup of coffee. 🙄
We used to sit up late nights, she reading a book or magazine. Me watching whatever she had playing low on the TV or maybe reading a book or magazine of my own. Do any of you remember Young and Alive? or, maybe After Glow? Dating myself again…
I also remember back before those… National Geographic For Children, and does anyone remember the Ranger Rick stories?
As I sit here with my own book to read, and my tea to drink while the wind whistles mornfully round the corner of the house, whispering secrets through the trees, I remember the happiest times of all with Mom. She would read to me. She read things like magazine articles out of Reader’s Digest, and True Story. She even read magazine articles out of the teen mags I brought home just to have the posters. She thought I ought to know about the people on those posters whether she liked them or not. Never mind the fact that she always let me know what she thought, but she also listened to what I thought, and like them or not the posters where on my walls, and the magazine articles were read.
Mom loved Christmas too. I wish I could bake and decorate like she did. She loved to make cookies, and candy. Sure miss her fudge. Not this chewy shit with marshmelow, but real fudge, you know the kind that is sugary and hard? The kind you test with cold water, and put into a glass pan when it is done. When it’s cool you cut it into squares, and let the grainy fudgy goodness melt slowly in your mouth. That’s fudge “Wee ones”
None of us do Christmas justice in our family. Not since Mom has gone. Even with all her problems, sicknesses and all, and even though due to stress she usually always had one melt down during the holidays, Momma loved christmas… one day I’m going to have a Christmas like that. Shopping, old Christmas music playing, decorating and Grand kids…! EVERYWHERE!!! It will happen, and I am going to live to see it is so…
I always hoped it would be here. In this house. I always invisioned this house filled to bursting with family and laughter. I hope one day some family buys this big old house, cleans it up and fills it full to popping out of its seems and studs, with family fun, and laughter.
For now, Campbell and I are getting ready to call it a night. Go to bed, and dream about things yet to come…
“Today is yesterday’s tomorrow, and tomorrow is another day.”
“I know that I’m alive because I can look behind me and see the wreckage of my life”
“Love always, forgive always, forget as much as you dar, and laugh as often as is possible”
Read! Learn! Grow! and…Share!
Happy New Year!
PS. I have no idea why I wrote this. It’s not at all what I had in mind when I began, but it is what my mind was needing to say…