In my first book, Campbell’s Rambles: How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life I write a chapter about the coming autumn and Drew’s pending visit. I write of all the preparations I made, and all the hard work I did to ready myself for the many things that were happening in my life, and for what was to come.
Now, here Campbell and I are again…
Making new and everlasting changes in our lives together, and on one hand I am terrified of all this means, and on the other I am excited in ways I haven’t yet been able to give true voice.
I feel a bit like retreating when I think of walking through those big winding spacious halls of what is the Maple Oak Apartment building. Feel a bit twisted in my tummy when I think of the bunched up knots of people with walkers, wheel chairs, and scooters, Oh! My!
Then I remember how Campbell smiled last time we went over, and with only a bit of direction from a resident we made our way on our own to the office.
I wonder if having something new and exciting to do in a bit safer area might just not be good for Campbell and me.
I think about the opportunities we can find to do work, and add movement to our everyday routine just by some of the changes we’re making.
We will have to walk downstairs, and to our mail-box rather than just stepping out the front door, and reaching into the mail-box for our mail.
We will have to walk a bit to get to a park area not once, but four or more times a day, and especially if we go no place that day.
Although the bus stop is right in front of the building, just last time we were there I found us doing some new work to board when it came back in mid hour. Just crossing the street, going in front of the bus, and getting Campbell talked into turning in the right direction for the bus ramp while taking direction from the driver, who, unfortunately mixes her directions at times too, was a challenge.
What did Campbell do with that? Enjoyed the hell out of it! He wagged his tail and laughed with a big wiggly waggly jingly jangly shake as we went.
I have never before felt so mixed up about anything.
I want to try and answer a question that was put to me just the other day. I was riding home on the bus, having a conversation with someone about the upcoming move Campbell and I are making, and someone asked, “You’ve moved before, what’s the big deal here?”
I am going to try and explain. The last couple of times I have moved, for good or ill, I have had someone with me.
When I moved from Johnson City to Kingsport in the 90’s I had my daughter at home, was involved heavily with a church group, and had a full time job.
When I moved from there to Kingsport Manner Apartments in the early 2000’s I had Donnie. Our status at the time was positive, and I had all sorts of new possibilities I’d not had available in years back in my life.
When we moved from those apartments I had Donnie then as well, and although we were just getting back together, and I was already beginning to see, and ignore warning signs of impending doom, I had his support. As well as the support of 20 movers from the Mormon Church of which I was a member at the time.
Now, here I am in 2016 late autumn, and getting ready to move from my house, a three bed room none the less, into a one bed room apartment settled in the middle of a building filled with people, and even though I am familiar with some from other places, I have no fucking clue about one thing, person, or place there.
I am on one-hundred percent overwhelmed over load, and feel more feelings than ever before ever I have felt.
I thought I was mixed up and confused the morning after that night Donnie choked me and hurt my arm after our dinner with Drew, but tThe se feelings have caught me totally by surprise.
I have no doubt that Campbell and I will do just fine, but the getting there and settled in is going to be a bit of process for us both.
I am already starting Campbell’s Preparation. We are slowly making changes to his feed and park routines. I am working with him a bit more on obedience than I have in a while, and tightening a few skills I may have allowed to go a bit lax due to our living arrangements.
Campbell faces adjustments emotionally and physically as well, and I must see correctly to all of them.
I am hopeful that I am doing things right. Even though I have written to The Seeing Eye, let them know of our move, and expressed my concerns, at this time I have received just the simple answer of, “That’s good news, let us know when you move.” I was hoping for a bit more advice, but it looks as if that is for whatever reason not to be. To say I was a bit surprised and disappointed would’ve been an understatement. There it is, and I knew it would be the case. Fall-Out from my previous sickness and behavior as a result. Proof’s in the pudding, or so it would seem. I am hopeful of change when I move.
I hold judgment and ask you do the same.
It might be that they have nothing to contribute until the change has taken place, and that does make sense. Just had hoped for some encouragement. Seems like that is no longer something I can count on. The fact that it might be my own doing is not relevant to the loss and emptiness I feel.
For now, I go forward, and know that we will be OK.
For now this is Patty and the Ever Loyal and Trusting Seeing Eye Dog King Campbell AKA Bubba saying…
May harmony find you, and blessid be.