Good morning from the Campbell Kingdom Located in Campbell’s World. I hope this morning finds you happy, healthy, whole, and well. If it does not, then maybe this post will help. I hope that it does, and if you are so moved, I hope you will let me know.
I want to talk about saying yes, when you should’ve said no. What does this mean? First off, let me tell a little story. This will help you understand what I mean.
Recently I was asked to assist with a difficult situation between two persons I care about very much. I said that I would do so, but even as I said it I knew in my heart of hearts I was making a mistake, but against my better judgment I went ahead. In the end, I was of no use, allowed my emotions to get the better of me, and in some ways probably made the situation worse. In sort, I should have simply said no.
On top of the fact of my being of no real help, the situation at hand triggered me emotionally and the night that followed was a living hell for me. I suffered night terrors. Horrific dreams, and woke many times throughout that long night in a cold sweat, and tears. I learned a powerful lesson from that, and that is this…
Sometimes, even if it appears to others that you’re being hard hearted, and selfish, saying no is your very best option. Sometimes the best help you can be to everyone is to simply keep your distance, send your loving prayers, and energy, and simply do nothing else. Sometimes if it is not your fight just saying no is your best option.
This doesn’t just go for getting involved in other’ difficulties either. Let’s talk about the work place. Is it OK to say no in your work place? Well, again, let me tell you a little story so that you get a clear picture…
When I worked as Volunteer Coordinator for Contact Concern, near the end of that job I found myself working 80 hours a week, being put in situations on behalf of my supervisor that I did not belong in, and receiving no support from the other staff. Why did this happen? Because I did not learn early on to say no. I took phone shifts for anyone and everyone. I took responsibility for things that weren’t mine to take, and said nothing until it was too late. What do I mean by too late? Well, the story will be told better in my upcoming book The Raw Truth: Campbell’s Rambles Book Two but basically I ended up leaving the job, and not in a great way. I became very sick as a result of the situation that my refusal to say no caused, and it has taken quite a while to come from that time in my life.
What do these two stories teach us? They teach that setting boundaries, and saying no to things at times is extremely important, and in fact is necessary for your own well being.
What are some things you can do if you do find yourself in a high demand situation that you do wish to help with, but that you don’t want to affect you in a bad way, or take too much out of you that might not be easily put back?
* Take time out every day for yourself.
* Listen to your body when it says it is tired.
* Make sure to always be as honest with those around you as you can be about how a situation is making you feel, and what you need to make it better.
Always and without doubt put yourself first in some way each and every day.
I’d like to thank you for reading, and if anything in this post resonates with you let me know.
Until next time this is Patty and Campbell saying…
“Be good to yourself. No one will do it like you can.”