My thoughts! Campbells! Rambles! Introduction and chapter 1

First off, I forgot to put in the title, that I am dictating. I will try, to do the very best I can with this. I would like to thank all of you who read me even though I know there are mistakes in some of what I write. It is very meaningful to me to do what I do, and I am very happy to have you with me to do it for. If I did not have people to read me I might as well just keep a journal. This way, I have friends to share my thoughts with. And so, here we are.

Let’s talk about the introduction. I have actually gotten questions about this. I am glad people read it. I understand some don’t. I do, I think it is important to try and understand where the author is coming from, right from the beginning. Lots of times, you can find out who is really important in the book, just by reading those few first pages. What do people ask? First off, The biggest question I have gotten has been this. Why, did you, mention Donnie at all? Why would you thank him? I was surprised by this question. I said, right out, that Donnie help me restore things within myself that I had lost for many years. If he had not done that I probably never would have gone and gotten Campbell. I have to tell you, maybe it is because I really did not explain much about mine and Donnie’s history that these questions were asked. You see, I basically just summarize how and where we met and all facts were not present. So let me speak on it…

Here is how Donnie and I met in a nutshell. I first met Donnie while he was still with his son’s mother. Neither of us had moved yet to the apartments where we live as neighbors and really began to get to know one another. He and his ex were still together, although their relationship was nearing its end when we met. He and I got to know each other as he and his ex were breaking up. In truth, is X is the one who introduced us. She did it on purpose. It became very evident to me as their relationship ended and hours began that she tried to put us together. She wanted out, and she needed someone to blame it on. Of course, I don’t know all of their issues, I was not there. Then again, I was. For a time, I stayed with them. Days at a time, I stayed. We had lots in common, or so it seemed. She worked a lot, and I was lonely. I made a lot of mistakes back then. My daughter and I were having trouble. She had moved out of my house, and into the house with my dad. I was suffering badly from my mental illness. I have to be honest and say I was not treating it like I should have been. In a short explanation, I was very sick. I was not thinking correctly at all. As I have said though, things always happen as they are supposed to. So, in the end, Donnie left his then, girlfriend or whatever she was to him, and I followed shortly there after. We lived, as neighbors four, five years before coming to the house, where I still live. And that is me and Donnie and our beginning in a nutshell. As it is written in the book, he did help me learn or I should say relearn things I had forgotten while living in such an isolated area. I also want to tell you, as it is most of the time the case he was not the abusive hurtful man that I left finally in 2013. Not at all when we met. At least, not to me. Was I blinded by him? Probably so. Abused women, or men usually are.

Another question I have been asked, is what does Mr. Gibbon Think of all you wrote about him, and your experiences together? Answer, I have no idea. If you want to know, right and ask him. Unfortunately, because I became so very ill, and out of control for so very long The beautiful and very healthy instructor/student friendship we had was destroyed. The only question I have ever had for him, is this. When my behavior began to change, after you left in October 2011 why did you not ever ask me what was wrong? I believe, if I could have the answer to that question and a couple more which I will not right of here, out of simple respect I could finally truly begin to heal. You can’t make people talk to you though, so I just have no choice but to try and do the best I can with it.

Onto chapter 1. People have asked me, did it not really start to look like things might be going wrong for you and Donnie when he did not encourage you more, while you were preparing yourself to go? Well, as I have already said people are usually blind to the abuse they are suffering. As I look back on things now, I see, that by the time I was ready to go to The Seeing Eye Donnie had really begun to change. I just didn’t know it then. I didn’t really start to realize how much until I spent a month away from here. What was my mistake? Trying to come home and re-insert myself back into the life I left behind. There are days, when I wish I had not. As you read the book, you will learn, that I thought about staying in New Jersey I even entertained the possibility of going to speak to Drew about my situation. Why didn’t die? Because I wanted Campbell. I was terrified he wouldn’t let me have him. So, I made the mistake many do. I thought I could change things. I believe, when I got Home and he saw how wonderfully independent I had become he would be different toward me. I was wrong. There is nothing more to say about that. It simply is as it is.

I will stop here. If you have not read my book please see the following link, or go to the link here on this blog marked my book. I do hope you will visit http://www.dvorkin.com/pattyfletcher/

There are lots of things there. Lots of things that will show you how I was, and what I did, be for Campbell. There are things about my work. There is even a news paper article that was done shortly after my coming home with Campbell. The reporter that interviewed me even called the school in New Jersey and interviewed Drew. Of course, those were the good old days when he still thought I was a good person. I don’t think that’s the case now. Again, I can’t really be sure. The imagination is a very large playground when you don’t have the correct information to fill in the blanks. For now I leave you with this. They goal when I went to The Seeing Eye was for me to become a very solid and strong guide dog handler. I have met that goal. Campbell and I are well bonded and our work is awesome! We are happy together! We are one. Yet, we are we.

Thank you for reading. If you are reading my book, or if you have read, and you have questions you can comment in the comment section with your questions, or you can email: Patty.volunteer1@gmail.com

If you have questions for our trainer, I encourage you to email him at info@seeingeye.org

I want to make you understand if I can for a time, he really had no other choice than to disassociate himself from me. We both made some mistakes, and one day we will talk. I am hopeful that this will happen before, we run into one another unexpectedly at a convention, or some other function. I would not like our first meeting after all that has happened to be uncomfortable for either of us. I think that it could be easily mended, but for now, I have done all I can do on that subject.

Thanks lots for continuing with me. Have a great Halloween!

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This entry was posted in Book blog magazine, Campbell's Rambles: How a Seeing Eye Dog Retrieved My Life, Healing depression forgive Ness, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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