Hi, Campbell’s World Visitors! Ever have one of those days that go so wrong right from the start that before you ever leave the house you are ready to give up and quit? Well, for me it has been this way for a while, and try as I might, I am having an extremely hard time continuing. I have some good things happening slow slow, though they are. However, the obstacles I face each day are becoming harder and harder to deal with. Not having a fully working computer, not having a strong financial foundation, or support system is starting to take away my desire to go forward.
I am trying to stay positive. I am making an effort to keep writing, even though sometimes it takes five minutes just to write one line. I am determined that The obstacles currently standing in my way Will not defeat me. I am hopeful, that if I continue to be persistent prayerful, and patient I will succeed. Do I feel very successful today? No! I do not. I want more than anything, to just be able to sit at my computer write, and do it with out hassle. I don’t ask for much. I don’t care, if I am ever famous. I do not need to be rich. I only would like to be able to make my way in the world. To have enough money, to not have to choose between food and medication. Two, be able to schedule a trip on our transportation system without worrying that I will not have enough money to pay for the trip and do what it is I want to go do. Basically, I just want to be comfortable. I want to stop, feeling like I am always on the edge. I want to be able to address issues such as my computer needs without such opposition. I want to be able to simply live what is considered a normal life. I woke up this morning with plans but by the time I had made a pot of coffee done the dishes, and washed a load of clothes I realized, I simply did not have the means to make what I wanted to happen this day happen. So, here I am with A phone in my hand trying to dictate a blog post. Trying to figure out how to find someone to look at, and fix what is wrong with my computer, and keep from just giving up.
Just these few simple lines, have taken me 35 minutes. I simply do not know how much longer I can withstand the many obstacles in my way. There are many. I simply know not where to turn.
I feel, that the things I want in my life are simple. I want a partner to share my happy times and my sorrows I want just enough to make certain my needs are met, and that occasionally I might be able to go out and have some fun.
I want to make my career my writing. I want to make my original goal a reality. I am hopeful, that one day these things can be so. For now, I leave you with this thought.
Sometimes, frustration, takes away desire. If you are lucky, determination will bring it back. Today I am looking for that determination. I am not sure where it went, but I am hopeful that I will find it.
In the meantime thank you for reading. All I ask is for your prayers.